This is the second blog post in a series offering support to ministry leaders as they support those in their congregations while they grieve. Our final blog post in this series will be published on July 26.

Grief is something that we often think of as lying in wait in the aftermath of tragedy. That is, after all, when it’s most visible to the bystander: in the days following a death in the family, or surrounding an inexplicable accident. But grief doesn’t follow a specific timeline, and there’s just no way to predict when someone will feel ready to re-enter life as they used to know it — or if that will ever be possible. For many people, grieving takes on a life of its own, and closure is something that may never come.

Grieving people need support, and they may need help for many months or even years after their initial loss. A strong church community can be a huge help in this regard, especially when church leaders take a thoughtful approach to developing communities and support networks that are ready to catch someone falling headlong into woe. There are several ways to create spaces for healing for community members with different needs:

One-on-one support

Many people will seek out their pastor for grief counseling following the death of a loved one, and ministers are often the first person turned to for guidance as they help the bereaved plan a funeral. Consider how others in your congregation might also provide one-to-one care through programs like Stephen Ministries.

While active church members may come to you, people who don’t attend regularly may not. Establish ways to reach out to bereaved members to offer condolences and to listen. You may wish to use several methods of contact, whether via email, a personal note, or a home visit.

Small support groups

In the weeks that follow a loss, many people feel suddenly stranded with their grief: the rest of the world seems to have moved on, but the bereaved still struggle with strong emotions. This is typically when support groups are helpful, so people can talk to others who are grieving and enjoy a non-judgmental place to compare notes and simply express their feelings of sadness openly.

There are several ways to create support groups, and each congregation’s needs will be different:

• General Grief Support: This group is open to all and defines grief broadly. It may include members who have lost loved ones to death or to more nebulous causes such as addiction, mental illness, or Alzheimer’s. A general group may have revolving membership as people drop in and out over time.
• Specific Grief Support: These smaller groups are made of members who share a specific type of loss. They can be helpful for long-term support networks of people with similar issues who enjoy building a community of like-minded neighbors.
• Grief Education: These groups involve faith content, or perhaps a psychology, sociology, or church curriculum that seeks to guide members to a deeper understanding of their own grief and recovery. While the previous two groups need a facilitator, this group requires a leader who will function as a teacher and guide.

Assessing your congregation’s needs

To provide the most useful support for your church community, it’s important to understand what your congregation needs. Gather a team to consider your population: Are they older and likely to be widowed? Has there been a tragedy that recently affected a wide swath of your membership? Does your community struggle with addiction?

Next, consider who in your community could help facilitate support groups. Will church leadership take on this role alone, or are there willing mental health professionals or caring volunteers who can assist? Where will you host meetings, and how will you get the word out to those who could benefit?

Finally, one of the best ways to find out what your community needs is simply to ask. As you reach out to someone in grief, it’s worthwhile to ask what they would find helpful to inform your ongoing development of grief support in your church. Groups will likely change over time, and some may disband while others last for years. Stay engaged and responsive to your community’s needs, and you can provide much-needed help through the darkest times.

Interested in learning more? Our sister imprint, Fortress Press, offers “Good Grief,” a book that offers support to ministry leaders about dealing with grief in their congregations.