We live in a time where all kinds of things are going on in our world. There's political unrest, crime and violence, and natural disasters. People hold strong opinions and views relating to all of these things. As a result, conversations can get pretty heated.
As the facilitator of a small group, you know firsthand how challenging it is to lead discussions about hot-button topics. But it doesn’t have to be. Here are some tips to help you engage in and encourage honest, healthy discussions with others:
One of the easiest ways to make people feel comfortable is to add food and drink to the mix. Have everyone take turns bringing a meal and beverages to share. Or try having a potluck where everyone brings a dish. People are more relaxed over food and conversation flows more easily. But don’t forget this pro tip: eat your food before you dive into serious conversation and strive for a real meal rather than snacks. This keep things more intimate.
Make sure your group knows that everyone is allowed to voice his or her honest opinion. Set some guidelines like “No one is allowed to attack someone else’s point of view.” Other guidelines might include: “No one is allowed to interrupt when someone else is talking,” and “Keep your emotions in check.”
Let the group know that if a conversation is getting too heated, it will be in everyone’s best interest to take a step back. Tell them to go for seconds on the delicious food they enjoyed earlier, or to pray or worship together. With clear guidelines and the expectation of respect for one another, people are more likely to feel valued and safe to share their opinions.
Using a curriculum will equip you as a leader with the tools and talking points necessary to actively open up dialogue within your small group. Programs like Sparkhouse’s Dialogues On come with a facilitator guide that helps you structure these conversations and grow your skills as a leader. This alleviates some pressure on you and creates a safer space. Others in the group will know you are working off a nonbiased curriculum rather than asking potentially pointed questions.
Using a curriculum supports rather than detracts from the unique needs of your group. You can always modify your discussions to meet your group's needs. If a certain topic has led to a conversation that’s flowing in a healthy way, stay with it. On the other hand, if a topic isn’t garnering much dialogue, you can move on. Through proven talking points and communication strategies, you’ll overcome conflict together.
By creating a safe space for sharing built off a clear and thoughtful strategy for tackling difficult topics, you will encourage open, honest discussion with your small group every week. As a leader, you will feel more comfortable and confident diving deep into conversations knowing the parameters and having the tools to guide your group. You can relax and lead a conversation that will strengthen your small group community. It just might strengthen your broader church community too.
Interested in learning more? Check out Sparkhouse's new small group adults curriculum, Dialogues On, that helps your small group tackle difficult conversations and learn important communication techniques throughout the process.